To all the mamas, here's to our tatas!

I've been meaning to share about my breastfeeding journey for a while now and I just recently knew that there's a whole week dedicated to breastfeeding mothers! So now that we are in that week, here goes a blog post on my first breastfeeding journey.

When I was pregnant I did all the necessary research on surviving the first few weeks with a newborn EXCEPT the breastfeeding part. So when the baby came I was not mentally prepared for breastfeeding. To be truly honest, during the last few weeks of pregnancy I spent a lot of time preparing for labor itself because when third trimester came, I was already too exhausted and wanted the baby out more than anything. 

The moment Jasmine came out into the world, the nurses put her on my chest for skin-to-skin and then they helped her with my breast for her first latch. She got a good strong latch even for her first time and that got me by surprise thinking that wow, so this is what they call the newborn's survival instinct - they just naturally, unconsciously react to suckle at anything that touches their lips. Subhanallah. But of course, the first few breastfeeding sessions went without any milk because our breasts kinda need that 'official letter' from the brain saying that "okay all systems go. Start the milk production engine." When the first few drops of liquid gold finally came, it was a little bit painful and I had cuts on my nipples. I still remember when Jasmine drank a little bit more than she needed and she threw up a spoonful of gold coloured liquid with specks of blood in it. I guess that's a sign that the pores are open for milk flow now. I wished I did a little reading on this before-hand. FYI, before milk comes, our body produces this thick golden liquid called the colostrum which builds the baby's immune system. White milk comes a few days after that.

The first few weeks went a little stressful for me because of the nipple soreness and cuts. And as you know, babies must only be fed with milk until they are at least 6 months old. And in almost every mom's case, breastmilk is best - so breastfeeding is the way to go. Imagine having a pair of sore, bleeding nipples and a baby that demands to be fed every 2 freaking hours. I didn't get to properly heal and it's already feeding time again! And again and again! And I'm pretty sure any kind of products (even the most ridiculous ones) that help breastfeeding moms, make fantastic business 'cause I for one have bought nipple guards, nipple cream, breast pads, nursing bras...you name it. But alas, once my body finally understood that this isn't working out and it's time to bring out the Mommy Body 1.0, my nipples started to heal like magic, they lost the sensitiveness and started becoming this strong, elastic, rubber-like texture that can withstand constant suckling and tugging. I mean, I'm literally typing this while my baby is crawling and tugging on my nipple at the same time. LOL #momlife ✌.

All the time, right? No thanks to Dad.

When my maternity leave was over, my milk production started slowing down until the point that we decided to start lacing with formula milk. When Jasmine was 3 months old we gave her her first bottle of formula milk. She drank only 1 oz and immediately rashes started appearing all over her body. I freaked out like crazy and started crying. We rushed to the hospital and she was diagnosed with a severe allergy attack. We learned that it was too early to introduce her to formula milk, plus the one we gave her was a cheap, supermarket brand. At age 5 months old we slowly tried giving her a prescribed milk specially for newborns (the safest and closest to mothers milk) which she took in pretty well. 

Jasmine during her allergy attack

At age 7 months, I completely stopped pumping milk at work. During the day, Jasmine's babysitter would feed her with formula milk and after work I'd breastfeed her. Until very recently, at 13 months old, the babysitter told me that Jasmine had refused formula milk for weeks and had stopped drinking from the bottle completely and she had asked me to start pumping my breastmilk again. And seriously, it is not easy to start pumping again once you've stopped - mostly due to discipline and commitment to stick with a breastpumping schedule, especially if you have a demanding job.

Here's the thing about working moms. Of late, I've seen a lot of social media posts talking about how difficult life is for stay-at-home moms and that the society should really respect them for what they do on a daily basis. As a working mom, I truly respect stay-at-home moms who raise their children on their own - there's no off-days, no sick leave, no rest, heck they work 24/7 when other people work 9 to 5. But I feel like working moms deserve a pat on the back too. Working moms wake up in the wee hours to prep their baby's breakfast + lunch box, sneak a morning shower before the baby wakes up, breastfeeds before going to work, sends the baby off to the babysitter, spends her day at work trying to focus and not think about her baby which is the most difficult thing to do (especially when recently there's too much news on infant death whose moms are working moms), while in between work, she sneaks out to the nursing room with all her breastpump equipments and her laptop, trying to finish work on time so that she can pick up her kid on time, gets home, cooks dinner, breastfeeds, and oh there's the husband who needs TLC too. Even if she gets off-days from work, her off-days are filled with mom duties that stay-at-home moms have; and at the end of the month she also pays the bills.

Oh gosh this post was initially dedicated to my breastfeeding journey but somehow I kind of briefly described motherhood 😂. 

💜

Anyway, if you're a mom-to-be, I wish you best of luck. Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. It's when you truly bond and connect with your baby; and that feeling beats everything you've ever felt before. Jasmine is 14 months old now which means I have 10 months left to enjoy breastfeeding my baby. I wish I can go on and on with breastfeeding although I know the time to wean off is coming closer. Of course, I did not know this before becoming a mother. But now, if anyone asks what would I do if I weren't a PR executive, I'd say - a full time mom. Being a mother is the most natural thing to me now.

Thank you for reading! And Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

To all the mamas, here's to our tatas!

XOXO

I Love You, Quirks And All.

There's a couple of things about my husband that I'd like to share.

He's a very neat person. One that cares heavily on cleanliness. Bonus points for me! But sometimes it can get a little crazy.

Faris is the kind of husband who washes the dishes, does the laundry, mops the floor, vacuums the house (I've never used our vacuum - of which I bought 😂 ), cleans and maintains the cars and motorbike, cleans the toilet, does the bed, basically everything! Why? Because he prefers them done his way. Some things I get to do; like fold our clothes and hang them in our closets (but with his preferred arrangement), cook dinner, and manage the baby. Banyak juga tu, so we divide and conquer. Bab membersih & mengemas, all him.

Before we were married, I noticed that he was a tidy person from the way he dressed. I think I was too in love with this man that I overlooked the fact that I once saw him calculatingly arrange his socks by colour, very neatly as if they were on display - and he was only drying them! And how he swept his bedroom floor and when I thought he was done, he ducked and started lint-rolling his carpet!

After being married it started to get a little freaky y'all. You know those price tags on new clothes, they come with this tiny plastic string like this:

One day, I bought a new blouse. Got home that night I took off the price tag, tried it on, loved it, kept it in my closet. The next day I came home from work and found Faris in an 'inspector' mode. I got the feeling that I was in trouble so I asked "Why? What did I do?" and then he said, "You tell me." Shit I really was in trouble. I felt like I was in a movie scene sitting in a dark room only lit by a dim, low hanging light, being interrogated by a super tensed inspector. Drama sangat!

Then I said, "I don't know, what did I do this time?" and he said, "what did you do yesterday?" Shit! What did I do yesterday?! And then he showed me in his hand that little piece of plastic price tag string and said, "why did I find this on the carpet?" COME ON!! It was so tiny and broken and how the hell did he find it - our carpet is fuzzy!

Tu ok lagi. One time, I opened the fridge door and took a bite from a chocolate bar. He swooped in front of the fridge, squat down, head down and started searching the floor for chocolate crumbs. NO CRUMBS ON MY WATCH, LADY.

Yes, it drives me nuts sometimes, but there's always a positive side of everything. My husband's obsession on keeping things in order comes with his responsible attitude which means I can rely on him on a lot of things. Allah makes no mistakes and His ultimate arrangements are perfect. He sends down this neat-freak to complement the very messy me.

A couple months after I gave birth I started to lose a lot of hair due to postpartum hormones. This got me very worried and everyday I complained about my hair fall problem. Without telling me (until a few months later), every morning when I take my shower Faris would sweep up the fallen hair on my pillow and throw them away and I wouldn't notice how much hair I lost that night. He also convinced me that we need a black bed sheet to match our furnitures and we did - which makes sense now because then I wouldn't be able to see my fallen hair on the bed. He'd also scoop up any hairballs on the floor and throw them away while I was busy.

Did I tell you that Faris likes to keep and do things in order? He knows that being a working mom makes me exhausted so every morning he'd let me sleep a little longer while he gets up, cook for Jasmine's lunch pack, prepares all our bags for work, finds my phone and dump it in my handbag, checks my purse, gets the keys, takes out my shoes from the shoe rack. When we're ready he'll walk us to the car, warms the engine, checks the baby car seat, puts my phone, handbag and keys where I can reach them and kiss us goodbye before I drive out and then he leaves for work on his Vespa.

I sorely rely on him day in and day out. And he does it all out of love. I truly respect my parents-in-law for raising such a good man.

Faris, I don't know how I would function a day without you. Thank you for being you. I love you, quirks and all. 💋

xoxo
Thanks for reading.