Thursday, March 2, 2017

We All Have Big Dreams Once Upon A Time

Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again. Always filled with wild imaginations, free to have big dreams not restricted to worldly worries, aware that I have the freedom to express, I could run, laugh, jump and scream "I want to reach for the stars!" and far from getting judgemental comments, people would instead, smile.

18 years ago I couldn't wait to be a grown-up. I wanted so bad to know what I would become -- a scientist? An astronaut? A businesswoman? I wished so hard that I would wake up the next day already an adult. I was even convinced at myself that the future me would build a time machine, "just you wait! Future-Me will come visit me one day in one of her time-travelling trips!"

Fast forward to now, reality. I am all grown up - young still, but grown. Matured. Understand that yes, we can have dreams - I still have my ambitions to chase - but it all comes down to a well-thought out timeline. Goal, target. Own a property - done. What's next? A second house and an online business? Great but what are the consequences to consider? Let's list that down:

To buy a bigger house:
  • Current house is only sellable in a minimum 4 years time considering the market value and profits to make it worth. So in the meantime,
    • Plan A: rent it out. Risk: No renter because current market value is too high, loss > profit
    • Plan B: turn it into a homestay. Risk: it's not near any nature attraction areas nor is it in a city thus target audience is too niche - business people only
    • Plan C: Keep the current house and hope for miracles I'd have enough savings to buy a second house in 5 years time
  • More to consider, if I were to pursue with Plan A & B I'd have to rent a place to stay. Taking into account that my financial status isn't that impressive, I'd step back from juggling payments for my house loan, house rent and costs to be alive in this money-sucking world.
To have an online business:
  • What should I sell? Or what service should I be involved in?
  • Should I quit my job to commit to the highs and lows of business?
  • Do I have the money for a capital? No. So when should I start saving up? Another timeline to craft.
  • If I quit my day job and start an online business career, can this promise that I will have more time to focus on raising a child?
DREAM. GOAL. AMBITION. Big words that come with big commitments, big risks, big sacrifices.

I do wish a magical fairy-god-mother would appear to make it all easier. Don't you?

No, my dear. That's the beauty of it. You want something you gotta earn it. Good things will only come to those who hustle. Coz when Allah puts you through challenging times, remember, the tougher the journey, the more satisfying the reward will be. Allah's plan is greater than whatever you have in your well-thought out timeline.

Life is tough, but Alhamdulillah, soon I will get to experience childhood again. Through raising the child that I am carrying in my belly. It will be a break from reality. I could sing and dance and laugh and run again, with my mini-me. And instead of warning her about reality, I will instead smile and encourage her when she tells me about her dreams. She'll scream "I want to reach for the stars!" Oh yes you will my darling, yes you will.


Mommy can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms, little one. In just a few short months Mommy and Daddy will hug and kiss you and love you with all the pieces of our body. I will try my best to be your magical fairy-god-mother for you to turn to when life gets hard. And I will try my best to make all your dreams come true.